Saturday, May 24, 2008

Pickled Tink *hic*

(Warning: Long post, but extremely well-written and worthless).

So after about a zillion weeks, Zander was sweet enough to take Moo out for a fun day to Inorbit. For those one and quarter faithful readers who've been tracking my health over the last two weeks, I'm much better now. Stomach upset is kinda there sometimes, but nevertheless, I decided to go hog on a very big lunch even if it proved to be my last supper. So this is what I ate:

1) Half a pasta (the spiral kind, dunno what it's called) with rose sauce (not the flower, but basically tomato and cream), and loadsa veggies.
2) One chicken drumstick in some amazing sauce.
3) A diet coke after what seems like a decade.
4) Half Chicken Caesar Salad from Pizza Hut
5) Half a Pepperoni Pizza with lots of cheese.
6) Half sizzling brownie with vanilla ice-cream (Courtesy: Cafe Coffee Day)
7) Lots of water.

* burp *

I think I ate enough for three Ethiopian adults. * hic *

Anyhoo, Zander and I roamed about for a zillion ages after that, looking at stuff in Lifestyle and Shoppers' Stop, after finally concluding that Calvin Klein and other assorted brands need to be reported for extortion. Call me cheap, but how can you justify a stupid plain yellow tee (the colour of pale poop, to be precise) at a price of 2500 bucks? I mean, did you forget a decimal after 5, or something? Silly, everyday jeans you wouldn't look at twice, priced at 3400 bucks, while somewhere else a white racerback with polka dots is supposedly worth a grand. I'm very fond of good clothes myself, and with friends like Mikachu, one really tends to become Rebecca Bloomwood, but let's face it. I'd rather use my crisp 1000 rupee notes as toilet paper, than throw it away on some random piece of ' branded' textile that you wouldn't even spit on. Pah!

What is the big deal about brands anyway? What is it about brands that make us so patronising towards people who buy clothes from regular stores? Personally, I have a few brands I completely adore, like Lee / Levis for jeans. I have yet to come across other brands which makes jeans like they're meant exclusively for my bum. Same goes for Adidas t-shirts. It's the comfort and fit that matters the most to me, although I've bought so many clothes and kurtis from random stores just because they were nice. But, I have a cousin who will buy tees and jerseys from Adidas or Nike, simply because he can yak about them to his friends later. Another friend has a stupid pair of Police sunglasses worth 10k, which I'm not sure he could even afford at the time. And believe me, they do nothing to distinguish him from the ass that he is. Cliched as it may sound, I still firmly believe that class and attitude comes from within. Don't try too hard by going to fancy places, unless you LIKE the stuff you're spending on. No one cares that much, really. So, the next time someone wants to dress up in street clothes, don't forget he may be more stylish than you are, what with your branded wear and all. I can't count the number of time women in ridiculously expensive clothes (and horrendously ugly) by Anita Dongre (AND, as her brand likes to be addressed) have made me guffaw. When you have style, it shows. Wearing clothes by AND, BUT, EITHER and OR isn't really the answer, people! Pasted that in your hat? Good. Now go dress nicely.

In other news, I've finally received the damned blog award that's been going around in circles, but never coming to me. Although I have a problem with it being pink, it will have to do. Maybe I'll get Zander to photoshop it into a deep blue or something. :P The Gentle Whisperer said so many kind words while parting with the award, that I was moo-ved to tears. Ok, so that was a sad one. :P Anyhoo, here goes my blog award!

I'm not sure I deserve this award, because I've seldom done anything for social welfare on my blog. Let's see, so far, I've laughed at the Chinese for their atrocious English (can't say I regret it though. It's still one of my favourite posts :P), I've only whined and whined about myself (although you can't say I didn't warn you ;)), been really mean about small girls who fell into the drain (and who unfortunately came out alive), written banal poetry, wished pedestrians were dead (ah, that was a fun, FUN, time!), written about 'my knight in shining armour' and some other stuff I'd rather not mention. The only worthwhile things I remember writing about is the social work bit and the RTO post. Weak defences, but will have to do. Sigh! It's been so long. So much time spent in observing people, their habits, exaggerating, mocking, being bitchy (if I don't like them) and then writing about them, watching the comments flow. If you've been the butt of my ridicule, all I can say is, behave yourself the next time. ;)

It's now time to pass on the honours. It was a tough choice to make, since most of my readers have a) either received the fucking thing before I did (hmph!), or b) don't even bother to update their bloody blogs. After contemplating for about 39.4 seconds, I decide to pass on the award to the following people. We, the Jury, are very biased, but you already knew that.

1) The White Phoenix: Because I love his blog, and I love him for the person he is. His laziness in updating his blog space would put a mule to shame, but once he does update, it's totally worth it. So here's a shiny, pink award for the Phoenix we all love.

2) The Overrated Outcast: NO one can talk pure rot with astonishing insight like this guy does. We met through a common friend, namely, Arjun Singh (the old hag with the reservations. Yes, that's the one) and today, we share a blog relationship like no other. We're both sarcastic bitches, with an opinion on everything under God's benevolent gaze, and this misanthropy is what is the foundation of the ardent admiration we share for each other. :D Oh yes, and how can I forget the compilation of Moo Jokes that he's so labouring on? He truly deserves this award like no other.

3) The Mugger Much: Now this guy truly deserves the award in the true sense of the term. I'm not sure I understand what he says most of the time, but nod intelligently and he'll love you. He'll write beautifully about anything ranging from short stories, to life at the IIT, to breakups or Communism. His brain needs to be transplanted when he isn't looking and inserted into my skull. So dear Croc, here's your pink award. It's all I could do. :P

4) Ess: This guy too, has a take on everything there is to have a take on, but subtlety is his middle name. He comes across as someone who'll make you feel like a jackass, but rather politely. Love his blog for the philosophy there is, but weaved in a rather fun, light way. So here I thrust the award on the unaware Ess. :)

That's about it, I guess. I expect link love and acknowledgment, not to mention some traffic diverted to my site after this whole charade. Don't think I doled about the pink picture because I meant the things I just said. Geez. And others interested in lobbying for it (we live in the country of Vijay Mallya), take me shopping and feed me a brownie, and the award's yours.

'Nuff said for one post.

*collapses with exhaustion*


Mugger Much said...

Quick question:

* What weird-smelling vegetable do you get if you cross the Moo with Jet Li?
Moo-li !!

Oh yes. Thanks for the award, and the kind words! Link love shall be given soon.

PS: My word verification says "lhutuz". How very Chinese.

Gentle Whispers said...

I'm glad you like it. It makes me happy. :D

mistercrowley said...

What is it about brands? You forgot to mention Crocs :P

G@K said...

nicely written...Or shd i say nicely eaten? How could u manage to hog down so much. U ate enuff for three cows, forget the Ethiopian adults... :p

Moo joke of the day.
Q: What is Moo's favourite Marathi Song?
A: Mi tujha mama, de mala Moo-ka!

Mikachu said...

*agrees with g@k*

Man ... still can't get over the name of the post :O
How bizarre that the first ever time i drink this drink called 'Pickled Tink' you should name your post the same:P
(. . and you didn't even know nor did mention anything until after i read the blog :S)

The whole post makes complete sense and maybe we should print it out and send it to all those ultra pretentious "Mwah-dahlin" bitches.
Like seriously fat and ugly they may be but give them some money (most probably by their over-indulgent dads)and a brand on their back they'll think no end of themselves.
Who cares though?
Can they pull off a 50rupee ganji? ;)

PS: Keep these moo jokes coming you guys :D

Moo said...

@ Anshuman,

Hahahaha! I'm basking in the attention! :P keep em coming!

@ Gentle Whispers,

Of course I like it!! I've been waiting for it for aeons. :P Thanks so much!

@ mister Crowley,

Dude, is it me or are you just pulling my leg? C'mon, tell me, don't be shy! :P

@ G@k,

I'm allowed one BIG meal once in a while. :P Don't grudge me that. :) Jesus! God help me bear them all (the Moo Jokes, I mean!!)

@ Mikachu,

I still don't see why the name of the post shocked you into hysterics. And NO ONE can pull off a 50 rupee ganji like the mother of all pets. ;) Teehee. :D

About the Moo Jokes, do they look like they need any more encouragement?

Over Rated said...

awww!!! You sweet little cow u shudn't have .... :D .... thanks ....

my gratitude shall be expressed in the form of mooore moo jokes .... [oh, yes ...]

and link love shall also be given soon ... :P

ess said...

Aww, Moo. I'm so touched. I want to make a Oscars-style teary-eyed acceptance speech. But since crying over my keyboard might short-circuit something, I won't.

Instead, here's a great, big thank you. :D :D :D