Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Defining a circle

So that’s what they mean by a circle. Or a rut.

Where you’re going on and  on, treading the same path millions are treading with you. Where you’re convincing yourself that it’s okay, you’re just doing this so that you can make a mark.

Screw the mark. Screw the unbeaten path. That’s never going to happen.

Whatever you do, others have done it before you. Tons and zillions of others. What you are doing is nothing but find your footing (or trying really hard to) and becoming a cog. And in this bid to be different, you don’t realize what you’re losing.

Time with family. Time for family. With friends. And most importantly, with yourself.

Consequently, you find yourself being exhausted all the time. Even the occasional weekend becomes the same old, same old.

Get up late, lunch with folks, the ‘Saturday’ date with your boyfriend, dinner at ‘someplace nice’, come back home, talk to the folks. Rinse and repeat for Sunday, and voila! Monday morning’s here.

Thank you, God, but you screwed up again. This isn’t the life I’d ordered. And I’m going to ask an unreasonable question.

Why can’t I have bits of everything?

Why must I have to give up on my personal life and sanity, to prove myself at work?

Or give up on an ambitious, excellent professional life to embrace a personal life?

What am I missing here?

And most importantly, how do I go about setting this right?

My lovely parents don’t understand why ‘I’ve changed’. Even if I do, I have nothing to tell them. My friends soon won’t be able to stand me anymore.

And there’s no answer to the question, ‘What’s wrong?’

Because, even I don’t know what is.