Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The post that was supposed to update you on my life

So this was supposed to be a nice looooong five day weekend, that was supposed to leave me rejuvenated right from Friday night to Wednesday night. Now I'm feeling like a child that was promised a tete-a-tete with Santa Claus, but then suddenly told he doesn't exist. My beautiful weekend has flown past me without it leaving any lasting memories of any sort. So yeah, it was Diwali and all, but so what? The only good that happened was that Lammy finally came over to my place after ages, and spent quite a lot of time with Sweet Tooth. Boohoo!! Now it's back to the grindstone with endless website updates, foraging for information to put in the bloody '14 Days' pages of the magazine, and getting the pages made by designers. No rest for the weary till Wednesday. In fact, Lammy and I were just discussing how we're all going to die after this weekend is over, since the only official bank holiday is well, Christmas. A good fucking two months away. :( No one told me working life was difficult.

I don't think I can go on without bursting into tears about the fading holiday. BOOOOHOOOO! :(
Will continue with updates later.

*grumble grumble*

Friday, October 17, 2008

This is how Good Relations woos journalists

My colleague received the following epistle from Good Relations, a PR firm. I’m slightly embarrassed to say that we didn’t comply to Good Relations’ wish (you’ll know what wish from the letter), but we printed it exactly as it came to us, and gave our readers a good laugh. Hence, ladies and gentlemen, I present before you, Good Relations’ invite to us. Please note that I have not tampered with the punctuation and spellings in any way. Thank you.

As discussed awhile ago, This was regarding our Chairman Mr. Anthony B M Good – also own as the father as the PR industry.

In 1988, is when Mr. Good came to India and saw the need of an exclusive PR Agency and thats how he started Good Relations India.

Good Consultancy, UK was the first PR Firm to be listed on the LSE.

We would be glad to organize you meeting with Mr. Good on September 30, 2008 where he could discuss the PR Industry scenario, how corporate have started recognizing the efforts put in by PR consultancies than investing in ATL and BTL activities. Attached please find his profile fo you reference.

Please look forward to your response.

Heehee! My favourite has to be ‘also own as the father as the PR industry’ and ‘please look forward to your response’. What’s yours?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Reasons why I wish to remain childless

Babies are frankly not as glamorous as they are made out to be. I mean, what's the big deal about children anyway? In my entire 21 years, I have picked up just one baby (and almost dropped because it was so goddamn squirmy), that too because the kid was thrust on me by a friend (since it was her brother). Let's face it. Babies and I don't get along. I don't find them cute. When they giggle, maybe, but apart from that, no cuteness there. And when I say babies, I mean kids in general, below the age of five.

Why don't I like babies? Loads of reasons. They grow into nasty adults, is a big reason. Why do I wish to remain childless? Oh, LOADS of reasons to that. Here are some:

1) I am not known to care fulltime about another human being for so many years until the bloody thing can walk.

2) There's too much pain and too much effort involved in producing a child - something I wouldn't like to subject myself too.

3) I value my sleep too much to wake up in the middle of the night, simply because another creature is hungry or shitting in my bed.

4) I might strangle the child in my sleep (intentionally or unintentionally).

5) I hate sharing my bed.

6) You can never be too careful when you talk before a kid.

7) They crap too much. I mean, washing someone's butt after a poop is not my idea of a pleasant task.

8) You can't eat while / before feeding your child.

9) I can't stand indiscipline and neither do I subscribe to "Kids are kids. They HAVE to be naughty". I belong to the old school of thought which says, "A slap in time, saves nine."

10) I want to be able to enjoy a quiet dinner with my husband / boyfriend (yes, I don't see why you can't have a child with your boyfriend if both of you want to), without a child wailing in the background.

11) There's just too much bloody stuff to lug around when a baby is with you.

12) I frankly can't see why I should go through all the pain when the guy who did this to me is equally responsible.

13) I wouldn't like to see stretch marks all over me.

14) I'd instantly be called an 'aunty'.

15) I'd rather spend all the money I spend on the child on myself.

Whew. I'm done. But you'll still visit my blog, won't you? :|