Monday, May 19, 2008

Almost Dead, but not Quite!

I can't believe I'm still alive. In the past three or four days, I've been ill enough to cover an entire epidemic in the continent of Africa. Worry not though, people! Moo is quite ok again, and just amazed at the number of things that happened to her at alarming rapidity. I've been telling whoever was polite enough to listen, about the whole bunch of viruses that attacked me, whilst I was blissfully unaware and minding my own business. The sneaky bastards. So hopefully, people haven't lost interest in me yet, so those who still want to know how ill I was, will be linked here. Here goes.

1) It all started around last week, when my ears went red and started itching like bitches.
2) This was followed by excessive scratching and heating up of my ears.
3) By the time the ears were resolved, an ugly rash evolved on my arms.
4) Meanwhile, my eyes started watering, and my eyelids started being sore to the touch.
5) The beautiful red rash planted itself on my legs and thighs.
6) This was followed by sleepless nights, where scratching could be listed as my main occupation.
7) The homoeopathic medicine I got was good, but it gave me hugely swollen fingers and swollen, tender gums. Yeah. They couldn't even keep my mouth out of it. How was I to TALK? :'(
8) Fever and a cold kept punctuating this entire spate of disorders.
9) The rash erupted on my face and my eyelids. My. Eyelids.
10) Since I wasn't weak physically and the doctor allowed me to, I decided to go to the gym and distract myself. Sitting at home would only make me wallow in my misery, so I went. It happened to be the day of my new strength workout, with 15 exercises in total. Yeah, so since the gym, every conceivable muscle in my body began to hurt, so that even scratching became a luxury.
11) For some inexplicable reason beyond my realm of understanding, the joint at my right shoulder is hurting like a pack of bitches, making me scream out while turning a power steering. :(
12) Now that most of the above disorders are 95% better, my digestive system was feeling left out, I suppose, so there comes a bout of loose motions. I spent most of today crapping my innards out.

The Guru Cool and I were chatting today, and he asked me a relevant question after I listed this entire list to him. Says he, "Dude, are you sure you aren't in a wheelchair like Stephen Hawking?" I also cannot help but remember Jerome K. Jerome's "Three Men in a Boat", where the narrator discovers with a visit to the doctor, that he has EVERY conceivable disease except Housemaid's Knee. I laughed at the time, oh so heartily, but now I know how it feels. Not the best feeling you can have, but who am I to judge? :P

Anyhoo, I like to believe I'm positive, so I'm just going to say that although I hated the last 3-5 days, I was happy they happened. WHY? Because I could blog about it and a-moose you, you ninnies!

7 comments:

G@K said...

So what did you actually suffer from?

G@K said...

Continuing Over rated's Jokes:
What is Moo's favourite dance step?

A: The Moo-n walk!

(That wasnt even funny!)

Homecooked said...

Awww....hope u feel better soon babes! I really admire u....going to the gym after all that pain!Wish I had ur dedication :)

chandni said...

chicken pox?

Over Rated said...

We don't need you to get sick to a-moose us, we are better a-moosed by a non-african missionary disease suffering moo. So get well soon.

and the title of the post? So Mary Hume



And g@k .....

U can't just do that ..... I have a copyright over bad jokes .... thou urs is funny!!

I got another one ...

q: Which is Moo's favorite cocktail?



a: A Moo-tini


*goes into hiding*

G@K said...

@ over rated: Child...I have been cracking bad jokes since ever. ;)
But I like ur jokes better dan mine.
Here is another one.

Moo's fav beauty product?
A: Moo-ltani mitti.

Moo said...

@ Gak,

I dunno, baby. :( I really don't. If I find out what germ caused it, it's the end of the world for that fucking germ. :(

And isn't Overrated coming up with a new PJ every blog post, enough. Lol...Funny though. :D

@ homecooked,

I am much better now, apart from occasional headaches and frequent stomach upsets. :) And about the gym, let's just put it this way. I AM kinda dedicated, but I simply went that time, to distract myself.

@ Chandni,

No no. Got that 4 years ago. Thankfully it's not that!

@ Overrated,

I did NOT get what missionaries got. :P And about the jokes, I promise to compile a whole list of jokes as a seperate blog post, giving the concerned writers credit, after you and G@k come up with around 35 corny ones. :D And that's a promise, my lad!

P.S. These remind me of the series of Bruce Lee PJS. ;)

Ooooh I have another one about myself.

Q: What will the world know Moo's kid as?
A: Moo-latto! :D

* proud of myself, truly *