Well, now that we've got the formal introductions out of the way, I present to you, China's version of HOW TO WASH A BRA, in Chinese English (if you get my drift). Oh yeah, and this is verbatim, except a few irresistible comments made in brackets.
Product name: Text chest, pants. (Pants?????)
Grade: Excellent grade. (In English, you get an F, my dear)
- Please Use The Natural Detergent To Wash Away Dirt (Natural detergent, now what tree does that grow on?)
- Please Not Usage Washer Clean and Dehydrate (I still don't know what this means.)
- Rinse Please Use Soft Scrub Clean Then (For first graders: Arrange the sentence in correct grammatical order).
- Wash Empress Please Instant Orthopedics And Place Cool Place Dry (Hmm...The 'Orthopedics' seem to suggest, that the bra can perhaps double up as knee caps to prevent Osteoporosis. does 'Empress' refer to the Empress of Blandings?)
- Deep Colour Product Please Avoid White OR Shallow Colour Product The Admixture Wash (Yes. Thank you. The weather's pleasant here, too.)
- Prevent Change Colour (Damn! Then why did I buy a colour-changing bra? :( )
- Please Not To Use Salty Sex Bleach (Sheesh. How dumb do you have to be that the company had to specifically TELL you not to use salty sex bleach? You KNOW the sugar-free one's what you're looking for.)