Thursday, April 24, 2008

What is with tags, again? Is there a season for tags, like there is for sales and discounts, mating, acne, etc.? I can't believe I'm posting tags back to back. My creative juices are bottling up inside me and will burst out in floods if this continues any longer. Till I go figure where my creative juices are even hiding, I'll post this tag The Gentle Whisperer put me upto. And I can't believe that people KNOW I'm jobless enough to take up their tag first. :( Hmph. Whatever. Here goes:

1) Last Movie You Saw in a Theatre:
Taare Zameen Par, with Ro. And yes, cried during the song 'Ma', till my nose looked like Rudolph's.

2) What book are you reading?
Ah! My favourite kind of question. I'm reading Half of a Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, which I think everyone should read.

3) Favourite Board Game
Game of Life, Scrabble, Pictionary, Monopoly. I'm a very board-games kind of a person.

4) Favourite Magazine
Not much into magazines, but perhaps the Readers' Digest.

5) Favourite Smell
The first whiff when you enter a cake shop
The smell of agarbatti after mum finishes pooja
My hair, after washed with Dove shampoo
The smell of his deo

6) Favourite Sounds
A baby chuckling
Bob Sinclair's World Hold On when I'm working out
Laughter and teasing on the dinner table when everyone's at home

7) Worst feeling in the world
Having to lie to someone you love more than your life
Being cheated on
Realising that someone you trust, doesn't trust you back.

8) What is the first thing you think of when you wake up?
Why in the name of my neighbour's pink chuddies, is it SO freakin' hot!

9) Favourite Fast Food Place
Does Nando's qualify as fast food? No?

10) Future Child's Name
Hiranyakashappoo. A what-the-fuck kinda answer for a what-the-fuck kinda question.

11) Finish this statement- "If I had a lot of money, I'd..."
I'd bathe with milk everyday. Anyway I hate drinking the thing.

12) Do you drive fast?
If a speed of 60 - 80 on an empty road, fast?

13) What was your first car?
My family's first car was a white Datsun, in Dubai.

14) Storms- Cool or Scary?
Make-you-crap-in-your-best-pants scary.

15) Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?
No one's allowed on my bed.

16) Favourite Drink?
Peach iced-tea from Bombay Blue, Lemon Juice from Cafe Samovar.

17) Finish this statement- "If I had the time, I would..."
Spend more time at the gym, or perhaps learn to play a sport.

18) Do you eat the stems with Broccoli?
I've never ever even eaten Broccoli.

19) If you could dye your hair any other colour, what colour would it be?
I wouldn't fuck up my hair more. It's pretty sucky as it is in any case.

20) Name all the different towns/cities you've lived in.
Kuwait and Mumbai!

21) Favourite Sports to Watch?
Tennis, cricket sometimes

22) One nice thing about the person who sent this to you.
I would sell a kidney if I could write like her. I love her turn of phrase.

23) What's under your bed?
I'd say "MONSTERS!" if I was Calvin, but it's just random stuff from here and there, really.

24) Would you like to be born as yourself again?
A thinner version of me, wouldn't be a bad thing.

25) Morning Person or Night Owl
Three night owls rolled into one.

26) Over Easy or Sunny Side Up
Sunny side up

27) Favourite Place to Relax
Home, or the sauna.

28) Favourite Pie?
I like syrupy Indian sweets better.

29) Favourite Ice Cream Flavour
Honey Nut Crunch from Baskin Robbins' and Ferrero Rocher from Gelato.

30) Of all the people you've tagged who's the most likely to respond to this?
I'm being charitable and not tagging anyone. This tag dies with me. :P

I tag

My neighbour with the pink chuddies. And of course anyone who's interested enough.

Right. I've done my good deed. May I go now? ;)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Songitty Tag

I was unfairly tagged by this stupid Phoenix I know. Although I'm secretly pleased that I was chosen, I still don't like this tag because it's going to take quite a while to finish. So at the end if I tag you, you'll know I don't quite like you, which is why I'm putting you through it. :p Alright. Here goes nuffink!

Rules of the tag : Various situations are given. You have to come up with a song (or set of songs) that aptly describe the particular situation in your life.

Your Life: The Soundtrack

Opening credits: Mujhe Mil Jo Jaaye thoda paisa - Agosh

Waking up : Subah ho gayi Mamoo - One of the blasted Munnabhai films

Average day: Yaara seeli seeli - Lekin

First date: Ishq hua - Aaja Nachle

Falling in love: Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers

Love scene: Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

Fight scene: Shut up, just shut up, shut up! (by I don't know who)

Breaking up: Judaa ho ke bhi tu mujh mein kahin baaki hai - Jal

Getting back together: Bring me to life - Evanescence

Secret love: Mera padhne mein nahi laage dil - Kora Kaagaz

Life's okay: Haal Chaal thik thak hain - Mere Apne

Mental breakdown: Maula mere, le le meri jaan - Chak De

Driving: Thandi hawa, yeh chandni suhani - Jhumroo

Learning a lesson: Bad Day - Daniel Powter

Deep thought: Laaga chunari mein daag - Manna Dey

Flashback: Woh shaam, kuch ajeeb thi - Khamoshi

Partying: (for some weird reason) The Birdie Dance

Happy dance: Move Your Body - Johnny Gaddar

Regretting: Turn Back Time - Aqua

Long night alone: Midnight Bottle - Colbie Calliat

Death scene: Zindagi kaisi hai paheli - Anand

Closing credits: Yeh Hai Meri Kahani - Zinda

Actually, it was rather fun coming up with this. So I'm going to tag all those I like, too. :) Here goes. I tag:

1) The Gentle Whisperer (this time, no forgetting you!)
2) The Overated Outcast (please humour me, you...)
3) Ess, of Idle Mind fame (What the hell, you're idle anyway, aren't you?)
4) Chandni (I'll be crushed if you don't follow suit)
5) G@k (I love bothering you)
6) Pooky (To save you the effort of penning your thoughts)
7) And anyone else who feels aptly jobless as I do, at the moment.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Kalyug is...

1) A five year old calling another five year old a chootiya.
2) The second five year old retaliating with a 'tera baap chootiya', in protest.
3) A person saying he'd exchange his mother for the Delhi Darbar cook. The food's THAT delicious, or so it seems.
4) Sending your parents to old age homes, so that you can live in their flat for free.
5) Schoolkids having designer uniforms that include minuscule skirts.
6) A fourteen year old girl flushing her love child down the toilet.
7) Paying Rs. 85 for a glass of chhas
8) Asking around who Narayan Murthy is
9) People taking out the time to wonder why Farah Khan's husband is younger than her
10) Thinking Rahul Gandhi has his father's good looks
11) Bargaining over a potted plant worth Rs. 10
12) Himesh Reshammiya winning music awards
13) Kajol, Ajay Devgan and that hag of a Tanuja judging a reality dance show
14) Actually thinking that Kajol and Ajay Devgan were less haggier than Tanuja
15) Khali getting newspace with his GIANT presence.
16) Girls swooning over the news that Salman Khan might get married to that dumb bitch, Katrina.
17) People breaking up relationships of 8 years, just for some short term fun.
18) Swapping life partners for exotic varieties in sex.
19) Killing your father and burying him in the same house you're coveting.
20) A jilted girl making arrangements for an acid attack
21) Playing "Hum yeh loongi uthati, tum ko disco dikhati" song for Ganpati festival.
22) Not being able to afford a flat in Mumbai anymore.
23) Driving drunk and running over a few people, but still getting bail
24) Literature students not knowing the difference between their / they're / there. Really, it's NOT that hard.
25) Going to class drunk.

* Depressed *

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Surviving a near-death experience

Disclaimer: For once in her life, the author is describing the scene, just as it has occured. No part of this scene has been fabricated for creative emphasis.

"Seriously! No, I can't do this," she yelled.

"Of course you can!" he assured her.
"Do something...DO SOMETHING! Don't make me do this, please..." she screamed, a little too loud this time.
"Ms. Reddy, you have to calm down. We'll be through with this soon," he tried his best to pacify her.
"How can I calm down? It's going to hurt me!" she practically sobbed.
"Hurt it will, but just for a little bit. Then you're going to have something lovely for the rest of your life!" he soothed her.

After about ten minutes, he put everything together that was required to make this a successful operation. In the meantime, she was sobbing to herself and nursing all inhibitions and fears.

"Come Ms. Reddy. We're almost ready," he beckoned her.

She reluctantly sat onto the seat as he instructed her to, almost in a half lying down position.

"Here, put your feet onto this thing here, yes, here, " he instructed. "And are you comfortable with the back of the seat?"
"Yes," she replied, her voice quivering with fear.
"Alright, now just do as I tell you. All you have to do is follow instructions. And take deep, long breaths. Ok, so far?" he said, his face intent.
"Good, now spread the legs a little more...Good, that should do it," he said, patting her on her back. "All set?"
"Yes," she said, meekly.
"Great, now push!" he said, with enthusiasm.
"NO! I just can't....," she sobbed, with the blinding pain within her.
"You have to! Go on, PUSH!" he almost yelled.
"I...can't...I don't th..think...I can...," she cried, tears running down her cheeks.
"COME ON, PUSH HARDER! You're just not trying hard enough!" he said, almost screaming at her.
"GOD! This is hurting...FUCK, I can't take it...Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!" she pleaded, weak with the pain.
"There there, almost done. You're doing fine! Now push one last time. PUSH!" he encouraged.
"I am...I really am....But...I don't think I can go on now," she wept, almost unable to get the words out coherently.
"You don't have to worry, because we're done! Congratulations, Ms. Reddy. We're all really proud of you," he beamed.
"Can I go home now?" she asked, her face all sweaty and her legs still quivering.
"You may. Just go lie down for sometime," he said. "And take care!"
"I will," she beamed. "Thank you."

Location: Talwalkars' Gymnasium, IC Colony, Mumbai.

Models: Instructor Abhishek and gymmer Ms. Reddy.
Reason for hullabaloo: Lifting 50 pounds with legs, 10 times.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Fun Social Work

The Wiseass was kind enough to give me the link to this site. Now what does it do? Well, firstly, it has this fun vocabulary game which keeps popping out different words at you. All you have to do is, choose its correct meaning from four choices. If you get it right, you end up donating 20 grains of rice to the poor and hungry. And the authenticity of the site stems from the fact that it is a UNO venture. You can check all the statistics and facts. Oh what the hell, just go have fun! :)

P.S. I learnt 13 new words (from which I remember the meanings to one and a half, and donated 2300 grains of rice. Do you see the halo around my head?)