Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Aspataal - Pyaar ki ek Masti Bhari Kahaani

Yeah yeah, I know. The three and three quarter people who read this blog have been asking me to update. And while it IS true that I have been busy, it is also true that I have been abusing my free DVD membership from Seventymm to the fullest. Hence, I've been ordering DVDs of Grey's Anatomy, and am about to have my eyes fall out with the amount of medical sciences that I've been watching.

One thing is established, though. It is an AWESOME show. Like, seriously. While quite a few people have been telling me that Scrubs is funnier and nicer, I don't think I can have an opinion on the matter, since I don't watch Scrubs. I also say that your opinion is wrong, and Grey's Anatomy HAS to be the best show there is.

I love how balanced and well-thought out the show is. Not once do you get the feeling that the drama is overtaking the hospital bits, and vice versa. Now if this was an Indian show, this is how it would be:

1) Meredith would get pregnant the first time Derek even THOUGHT of speaking to her, with a whole 'Main tumhare bacche ki ma banane waali hoon', bit thrown in for good measure.

2) Meredith would become chief of surgery in the first month of her internship as a reward for her honesty / intelligence.

3) Christina would have been an annoyingly oversmart character, who'd try her best to be witty.

4) Also, Christina would become a mushy, pink-clothes-loving wuss the second she thought she loved Burke.

5) The entire serial would focus on the hospital staff's (including the watchman and the ward boy) love lives, completely forgetting the main focus of the serial - HEALING fucking patients.

6) There would be a love triangle, where both Meredith and Izzy would fall in love with Derek, and keep giving each other dirty looks.

7) Dr. Addison Shepherd would be this woman clad in cakes of make up, zari sarees and too much eye shadow. Also, she'd have to be the lead vamp in this serial.

8) George would be this stupid sidekick, who'd get all the laughter tracks for being fat and dumb. Also, he'd keep tripping over the wires and confuse the scissors with a syringe.

9) No way would Meredith and Izzy live with a man in the same house without being married. In fact, Meredith would have a LOUD, decked mother, who'd try and get her married off to a rich, Punjabi guy.

10) Meredith would be called Dr. Anjali Malhotra and Derek would be Dr. Karan Shrivastava.

11) Derek would be THE expert on all branches of medicine, including heart, brain, colds, pregnancies, pediatrics, sutures, kidneys, toes, teeth, nose-hair, hiccups, inner thighs and belly buttons. In his spare time, he'd practise marine engineering as a hobby.

12) Izzy and Alex would get married after three months of dating; Alex being all goody two shoes and gushing.

13) The show would be called "Aspataal - Pyaar Mohabbat ki Masti bhari Kahaani".

14) The patients, nurses and peons would give Derek a lot of advice on how NOT to break Meredith's heart and the importance of true love, till the chap divorces his wife out of peer pressure.

What is with Indian audiences and the overt histrionics that have to be a part of every show? Why are we as an audience evolving backwards, instead of moving on to better things and developing a more serious, intelligent taste in the entertainment we seek? I say we're evolving backwards, because the same people who used to watch serials like Karamchand, Buniyaad, now religiously watch K Serials. Stuff that is as improbable as a child being born with perfectly braided hair and pink ribbons.

Will we ever learn to think for ourselves and be ashamed at the stuff we blindly accept on television? I guess not. Till then, excuse me while I go Indianise F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

7 comments:

Rohan Naravane said...

LO Bloddy L man...i can totally relate to the underlying frustration that the Moo has belted out here.

When will regional TV show makers realize the concept of Seasons; a world record for highest number of episodes doesn't make the TV series good.

Anyway, Funny Sheeat gal!

the white phoenix said...

karan Srivastav??? naah.More like "Rahul, naam to suna hi hoga". You Know rahul Singhania types.. a filthy rich doctor who hates his father, and as a result is working as a doctor in a gov. hospital instead of his father's hospital.

See that's the beauty of Indian television. You have so many situations, characters etc that your story never ends unlike in the US where they have to finish up a "season" because they have run out of ideas. Atleast I don't have to feel sad when I know I am watching the last episode of the season and will have to wait for one whole year for new season to begin.
Also when you have to beam a new episode 4 times a week, you will have to spice up the story with new twists and turns.
And people here are loving it be it the instant success of "Balika-Vadhu" or "uttaran" etc. etc.
Tv as a medium is unlike movies where you cannot make serials for the multi-plex/gen-x or gen-y people. they make what sells.

Anyway if they can make a "Lifeline" or a "Nukkad" they can anyday make an indianized version of Friends/ Grey's Anatomy. Bas demand and supply pe baat atak jaati hai.

But yes we can anyday discuss teh indianized version of "Coupling" . Would be fun.

Discalimer: I don't watch any anything on TV other than sports & movies

Monica said...

I love the name of the Indian version and the slogan especially!
But please promise NOT to direct or screenplay any sitcoms for television otherwise :-p :-p

Lamont said...

Wow..... ur awesome.... what ru doing wasting your time in Haymarket.... Just n join Ekta Kapoor... she will definately be over the moon to welcome u n ur brilliant storyline......... Moo u seem inspired by Anu Malik.... way to go COW/.....

The Shmoo said...

The Indian version of Grey's Anatomy was called "Sanjeevanee" and not its "Dil Mil Gaye". Its pure disaster. Cheap comedy. Hospital staff breaking into song and dance. The damn patients are the same since day one! There's this Nana Pathekar dude and a perfectly healthy looking kid-boy who hits on one of the doctors' kid-daughters in the DDLJ flirty style. They've done everything from laughing gas to food fights, all this in a HOSPITAL!

What the heck! Cigarette packets come with a warning printed in bold, but these cheap daily soaps don't mutter a word about low quality.

I loved this article. Rohan loved it so much that he told me to go home and read it, asap ^_^

Sakshi said...

Wow... I ask that question all the time... abt how come instead of moving forward we are moving backward... but... 'Healing Fucking Patients...!!' WOW...

DoubleDrats said...

Are you serious about Gray's Anatomy? I'm sure when you watch the new season you'll switch to Scrubs.