Sunday, August 09, 2009

In conversation with myself

How wrong is it, to want to be a different person sometimes? To put away all those ideas of being yourself and people loving you just as you are? To be able to take a vacation from doing all the things people expect you to do, the things that you expect yourself to do, even?

Life is a funny thing. You spend so much time trying to shape it to the way you want it to be, but then when you do get there, you realise it isn't as glamorous as you wanted it to be.

I've wanted to live my life the way I do, since 7th grade. I'd dreamed of going to work, having a decent paycheck being dropped into my hands every month, having a boss everyone would kill to have, lovely parents who don't trouble me when I come home from work at unearthly hours, friends who care when I'm upset. Heck, most people aren't even fortunate enough to get to do what they like. I have everything; it would seem like the most perfect life anyone would want to live.

Then why is there a gnawing feel of something being incomplete? I don't expect my life to reach fulfillment at 22, but there's this feeling somewhere deep within, that this is not what I wanted to do, after all.

There are so many unresolved issues in my head that I can't talk about. Not to the ones closest to me anyway.

Maybe I'll just marry rich and buy Jimmy Choo(tiya) all day.


G@K said...

there there dear... It is a good thing to be unsatisfied with life. That is probably the only way you do not end up working like a machine, satisfied with everything you churn out. What you are going through is very common, and all you need maybe is a change of scenery for a few days.
And if the words above don't make much sense...blame it on the lack of sleep. Cheer up. :-x (I win yet again... yay!)

Yashodhara said...

whenever i complain of these things somebody has to make it seem even worse by saying things like 'its good not to be satisfied, it makes you wanna go forward achieve more' and some such bullshit.
just switch off your cell phone and curl up with a thick novel and say balls to the world

Sakshi said...

damn- we are materialistic to the core. and I am proud of it. we all want more.. and more.
But what really sux is when you know you want more and you do not know WHAT you want more... (Its confusing... ) and trust me i am not the right person to advice u on that- coz I myself am figuring it out- check out the blog...!!! :)

Anonymous said...

Jimmy Choo(tiya).


I can see an entire year's worth of fashion week types reaching for their smelling salts,

Too good :)