Babies are frankly not as glamorous as they are made out to be. I mean, what's the big deal about children anyway? In my entire 21 years, I have picked up just one baby (and almost dropped because it was so goddamn squirmy), that too because the kid was thrust on me by a friend (since it was her brother). Let's face it. Babies and I don't get along. I don't find them cute. When they giggle, maybe, but apart from that, no cuteness there. And when I say babies, I mean kids in general, below the age of five.
Why don't I like babies? Loads of reasons. They grow into nasty adults, is a big reason. Why do I wish to remain childless? Oh, LOADS of reasons to that. Here are some:
1) I am not known to care fulltime about another human being for so many years until the bloody thing can walk.
2) There's too much pain and too much effort involved in producing a child - something I wouldn't like to subject myself too.
3) I value my sleep too much to wake up in the middle of the night, simply because another creature is hungry or shitting in my bed.
4) I might strangle the child in my sleep (intentionally or unintentionally).
5) I hate sharing my bed.
6) You can never be too careful when you talk before a kid.
7) They crap too much. I mean, washing someone's butt after a poop is not my idea of a pleasant task.
8) You can't eat while / before feeding your child.
9) I can't stand indiscipline and neither do I subscribe to "Kids are kids. They HAVE to be naughty". I belong to the old school of thought which says, "A slap in time, saves nine."
10) I want to be able to enjoy a quiet dinner with my husband / boyfriend (yes, I don't see why you can't have a child with your boyfriend if both of you want to), without a child wailing in the background.
11) There's just too much bloody stuff to lug around when a baby is with you.
12) I frankly can't see why I should go through all the pain when the guy who did this to me is equally responsible.
13) I wouldn't like to see stretch marks all over me.
14) I'd instantly be called an 'aunty'.
15) I'd rather spend all the money I spend on the child on myself.
Whew. I'm done. But you'll still visit my blog, won't you? :|