Issued in public interest - GET MARRIED IN COURT, YOU DUMBFUCKS!

My sister, Sheroo as she is popularly known in these parts of town, recently got married to the Witty Goldfish, and I want to bash both of them up. Her because she chose to go away leaving me all lonesome on my ownsome, and him, simply because he's the root cause of all evil. :( Now I've no one to pway wif, and no one pull weird faces at during dinner.

The wedding was something I've never seen before, really. That's not saying much, since I've attended about six weddings all my life (including my sister's) and the last one was around eight years ago. Sheroo is very anti-social, and had firmly told my parents that she didn't want the multitude of relatives and the usual fanfare. So she did what every person on the planet should do - get married in court.

We reached court at about 10 am, and we were out by 11.30 or so. Simple, easy and non-messy. There are a few obvious pros and cons to the whole affair, as is natural with all affairs. Let me list them for you (forgive the lists, but I'm a complete lists person):

Pros:

1) It's quick, easy and convinient.
2) It's so goddamned cheap, that you can fill your entire house with appliances and indulge yourself with a grand honeymoon, JUST with the money you can save with the wedding.
3) You aren't obliged to call people you completely detest, and watch them eat the food YOU'RE paying for.
4) There's no need to wear those ghastly sarees, especially if you're a jeans person.
5) There are no crowds to suffocate you. It can be just immediate family.
6) Since you normally don't get to enjoy the food at your own wedding, this is a cool option. You can simply just go and have lunch with those select few special people who matter.
7) There's no hours and hours of standing on stage with a plastic smile.
8) There's no need to cake your face with layers of bridal make up.

Cons:

1) The registrar makes you wait for ages, simply because he decides to turn up late.
2) If you're going for a dreamy, romantic wedding, this is the last place you should go to. It's more like getting married in a train.
3) There's hardly any place to sit and click pictures once you're done.

I think that's it with the cons. See? Eight pros and three cons. You have your obvious choice. When I get married, that's what I'm gonna do. Marry in court and then spend three weeks in the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, or maybe Mauritius. Cool no?

Interested parties may email me. Offer valid till interest lasts.

Amen.

The post that was supposed to update you on my life

So this was supposed to be a nice looooong five day weekend, that was supposed to leave me rejuvenated right from Friday night to Wednesday night. Now I'm feeling like a child that was promised a tete-a-tete with Santa Claus, but then suddenly told he doesn't exist. My beautiful weekend has flown past me without it leaving any lasting memories of any sort. So yeah, it was Diwali and all, but so what? The only good that happened was that Lammy finally came over to my place after ages, and spent quite a lot of time with Sweet Tooth. Boohoo!! Now it's back to the grindstone with endless website updates, foraging for information to put in the bloody '14 Days' pages of the magazine, and getting the pages made by designers. No rest for the weary till Wednesday. In fact, Lammy and I were just discussing how we're all going to die after this weekend is over, since the only official bank holiday is well, Christmas. A good fucking two months away. :( No one told me working life was difficult.

I don't think I can go on without bursting into tears about the fading holiday. BOOOOHOOOO! :(
Will continue with updates later.

*grumble grumble*