A friend and I were going to her place to study for the next day’s exam. Now everyone knows that when you’re in school, the final exams generally clash with the festival of Holi. Do I need to specially elaborate on why this is annoying for girls?
But I digress. So getting back to what I was telling you about, we had just entered the friend’s building. Suddenly a water balloon out of nowhere came flying at her and hit her squarely on the back. Furious, she went over to a group of boys who were standing together and giggling. I followed her meekly, hoping we could get away without a big argument.
“Who the f*** threw that water balloon?”, she asked (read yelled).
“I did,” said a smug boy.
I don’t have anything against people’s faces, mind you. But the face that that boy sported was the most annoying, infuriating face you ever saw. You know, the kind who may not have done anything to incur your wrath, but you still feel like slapping anyway.
Except that is precisely what my friend did. She slapped him neatly on his left cheek, and hard enough for him to scream aloud.
“WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, BITCH?” a shocked ex-smug boy asked her.
“Well, you like hitting people with balloons,” she replied. “I like hitting them with my bare hands.”
It didn’t take a genius to note that he was boiling with fury and embarrassment, but was too astonished to do anything.
“Now I hope this teaches you to stay away from me, you fat and ugly pimp. Because if it didn’t I can always teach you again,” my friend continued.
Everyone knew that she’d won. But as a saving grace, he tried a last attempt. “My dad’s in the police force. How dare you slap me? Now you just wait.”
“That’s touching. But since my mum’s a lawyer, I dunno if your dear daddy can do much to me. Meanwhile, why don’t you tell him to teach you some manners? Or better still lock you up in a spare jail or something? The inmates there could give you something to think about!” she mocked him.
Having the last word, she took me by the hand and whisked me away to her house. I couldn’t help but admire her spirit. I don’t think there’s anything worse for a guy than to get slapped by a girl. That too, in front of his friends. Boy, that’d give them something to talk about till he’s 95 years old!
Another thought occurred to me, though. May sound far-fetched, but I think such is life. Gone are the days when you could just go to the police station or a lawyer to solve your feuds for you. Nowadays, if you’ve wronged somebody, you just need to know the right people who can get you out of the trouble. And if you’re the one who’s been wronged, it’d be nice if you could know some influential people as well. Or you need to stack up some money to make the right people help you seek redressal. But if you’ve neither the contacts nor the money, forget it. Maybe you deserve to be wronged.