Ok, so I despise college. Like really loathe it and stuff. But there are some times when the chicas in class are so funny, that you’re actually glad you were around to take back home a happy memory. Here’s one such.
My friend KreePee likes pink stuff. Everything she owns is pink. Her shoes, her bag, her wallet, most of her clothes, her pencil(s), basically any accessory your wild mind can imagine, she has in pink. When opportunity permits, she throws in some Barbie and Ken photos on her pink possessions and proudly shows them off to everyone in class.
Nevertheless, she’s just so adorable at times, that you’d want to hug her till she dies of suffocation. Honest.
Anyway, I keep buying KreePee some random pink stuff when I see it. Like pencils and pens, you know, the works. And she gets so excited over little things, that she won’t even let me touch them; lest they get dirty. Hmph. Anyway, I gave her the mini car that she found in my bag (it came with a chocolate I was eating, I do NOT collect them), and she remembered that she’d got me something as well. Her gift turned out to be a very sweet purple eraser shaped like a bunch of grapes (that smelt like grapes too!), slightly bigger than the vintage toy car I gave her.
Now the kiddies in us woke up with a jolt, and took over all sense of ‘propah’ and ‘non-propah behaviah’! This is what followed. And yeah, don’t judge us. We’re the TYBA English Literature class.
KreePee (placing grape-shaped eraser on toy car roof): You know what Moo? Let’s pretend that the car is transporting the grapes to some place.
Me (liking idea): Yeah yeah, let’s!
KreePee: And let’s not allow anybody to touch the car or the eraser. Kharab kar denge sab.
Me (grinning): Ok babes, whatever you say.
KreePee (straight faced): And if the car gets too tired with the load of the grapes, we can make both sleep side-by-side and continue their journey later.
Me (giggling hysterically): Uh huh, sure! It’s totally your call, Kree!
(Enter Pussycat, another classmate)
Pussycat (squealing with excitement, pointing at the ensemble): WOWWW! What is that?
KreePee (annoyed): Kuch nahi. A car that’s transporting grapes. Don’t disturb it.
Pussycat: Moo, dikha na kya hai. PLEASE! What is it?
Me (handing over the eraser): Le. Mar. Kharab mat karna.
Pussycat (caressing eraser): Oh shooo cute! Hai kya yeh?
Me (with naughty grin): ‘Rubber’ hai.
Pussycat (returning naughty grin): Aila! Why are you roaming around with ‘rubbers’?
(Enter In-DUH-vidual, a third classmate)
In-DUH-vidual (looking at rubber in Pussycat’s hand): Ae show na! Kya hai woh?
Pussycat: Rubber hai, Moo ka. What a nice gal with good habits she is, na?In fact, bahut acchi aadat hai.
Me: Yeah, isn’t it? And this one smells nice too!
In-DUH-vidual (with stupid grin of non-comprehension and smelling the ‘eraser’): Moo, don’t use this rubber. It’s very nice. Save it for a special occasion, na!
Pussycat (shocked): What is this, In-DUH-vidual? How can you just stop people from using rubbers! Dekha Moo? Bas isi mindset ke vajah se aaj
I laughed so hard, that I was certain my intestine would come bursting out of me and splatter itself on the wall. Somewhere near my left ear, I heard KreePee spray everyone with a water fountain. Pussycat hi-fived me and burst into a fit of giggles. And as usual, In-DUH-vidual bestowed us with her default stupid grin (that signified she hadn’t understood anything that happened in the past 3 minutes), while we gathered our stuff and waited for the professor to bring us back to the mundaneness of our dreary lives.
Oh ok, so maybe you had to be there. Hmph.